It is okay to cry (part 1)

Posted by in Obervations

It is okay to cryIt is okay to cry. I have been telling my kids that for the last few months. They have dealt with death and loss and the pain of being let down. They have had betrayal by friends and forgotten by teachers and broken promises, mine included.  Sometimes the pursuit of painless perfection and a disappointment free world for our children leaves us stumbling for a better way to protect their world.

We do our best to inoculate our kids from discomfort. It isn’t the physical pain that we deal with but the idea that we need kids to have a better way than we did.  We make sure they get the clothes, the video game, the cell phone, the activities, the sports, the… list goes on and on. But we are doing our kids a disservice if we don’t teach them disappointment, if we protect them to the point where it is not okay to cry.

The real world means you can’t always afford the latest cell phone or the nicest toys. The real world means you have to face disappointment and the pain of loss. The real world often is the object of our escape attempts.  The real world is part of the reason we protect our kids

I heard a good example as a sports team lost a bitter season. The child was upset and that is to be expected. It is a tough lesson at any age. The parent got things alright again when they consoled the child, “Don’t worry next year we will join [insert winning team’s name] next year and you can get the award.”

It isn’t so much that we do good things for our kids. That is better. But it may be more of a point that we need to teach our kids it is okay to cry.  The Bible in the wisdom of Solomon leaves us a great insight into life.

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” — Ecclesiastes 3:4

When the movie is sad. When the dog dies. When the friends move away. When a promise is broken.  When we don’t get the perfect dream marriage, house, family or church that we always wanted… …wait this is n’t about me, this is about my kids right?

Then I realize, I am not crying anymore.

[Next => PART 2]