Been thinking a lot today about bullies. I have been a volunteer a few days a week at “the little’s” school and have been first hand at several bully events. Let me put a few out there as I ponder and see if you can identify or track in your own life.
- The puncher: This is the kid who knows he is stronger and bigger than other kids. Often he uses physical abuse to push the others into submission. A skilled bully will quickly learn that after the intimidation has been learned just his presence can subdue the class
- The Lawgiver: This is the kid who knows all the rules and has become the “enforcer” for the class. It doesn’t matter what you are doing there is this bully cracking the whip and keeping the teacher and the kids on their toes.
- The Talker: He knows that he can “motivate” people to do the right or wrong things. He pushes verbally and mentally abuses the people around him to do his bidding. This is the troublemaker that is least seen and often has the “victim” mindset. Everything is about him, it doesn’t matter good or bad, he wants the attention.
- Mr. Quiet: Unsuspecting authority often think of him/her as the good kid, this one is able to withstand the other abusers because he is plotting something more. Strong willed and controlling in their silence this is the manipulator.
As I wrote these down several faces popped into my mind and the kids that I am just beginning to know. At the same time I have known a lot of adults in my life that fit these “types” as well. All in all it makes me feel more like another kid on the playground.
Now apply these to church or small group.
- Mr. Physical: Just the awe that follows him keeps the others in line. A suggestion becomes a threat and a desire becomes a driving force for the church/small group
- The Lawgiver: This is the guy who routinely says, “I don’t know what Pastor thinks about that” and has the Church constitution on his iPad. Beware lest you cross him and his superior mind label you the “uninformed”
- The Talker: It isn’t just about one upping a person, this is the guy who can make you feel like you are the bully when you try and put a word in edgewise. The talker will quickly become the victim when called into attention, everything they do will be built around their own agenda.
- Mr. Quiet: Suspiciously never has an opinion, but always shares the opinions of others. Manipulation of the group happens because we think “slow to speak” means wisdom. Watch out for this quiet one that will control the group without saying a word.
Who have you run into in your circles? Have you had other types of bullies in your life? Do you have bullies that you run into on Facebook or down the pew?
Lots to chew on tonight.
After I posted this I was given several other links on a similar view:
— Christianpost.com 9-traits-of-church-bullies